Asking for Help

My hubby had to support me today. Figuratively and literally.

I’m short, and not particularly physically strong. So when we went to do some minor repair work on something we are caring for during the winter, I had to navigate a climb over a gate.

I was two steps away from making it, and we both knew I was “this close” to a hard landing, and just needed a little support to make the final step.

So he extended his arm, as if to create a seat, and voila, my ass was saved.

It’s taken me a long time to know it is safe to ask for help, and I actually would have in that instance, but I didn’t even know ‘what’ to ask. Him being him, he just knew.

But sometimes with certain things, he doesn’t know, and so I need to remember how to speak up honestly and even say hey it’s hard for me to ask, but I’m asking.

Because I grew up with rules and conflicting ideas around asking for help:

I shouldn’t have to ask for help.

I don’t like to ask for help.

People should just offer.

I’m not looking for a handout.

Step 1 — Eradicate these ideas from my brain, because they are not true or helpful.

Step 2 — Nourish new ideas that are true and growth-mindset focused.

I’ve always been the assistant, the manager, and the one with all the answers and solutions. So my ‘asking for help’ was unheard of. I was the provider, not the asker.

As an entrepreneur, there are various things I have not yet figured out, and may never figure out. Blasphemy! I’m such a fraud! How does Heather NOT KNOW?!

Here’s the scoop, if I can be conditioned for my entire life to not ask for help, and my default is to “figure it out on my own even if it kills me”, and still reach out for help. You can too.

Also? I don’t need to know everything, or do everything. I just need to be the Master of my work, and show up with that. Other people can be hired to do other things that they are the master of.

Asking for help doesn’t make you a weak person, it doesn’t make you defeated, it doesn’t make you look bad.

I think it makes you smarter, wiser, and better balanced. Why bother doing things that drain your capacity? Or rob you of energy or joy?

I invite you to throw out any unhelpful conditioning about asking for help.

If you need help with something, ask someone.

Most likely, the person you ask for help will love you no matter what and they’ll be thrilled and honoured that you asked. Then, they’ll let you know what they can or can’t do.

It may just save your ass.

Love,
Heather